I'm sure by now someone somewhere feels like I have abandoned them. Maybe. Perhaps. I haven't, I promise. But, life is chaos. And chaos is life. The two really are not mutually exclusive though at times things seem more chaotic than others. My day job has taken control of my life. By the time I get home I don't have the energy to do much of anything else. I don't feel like sitting down and writing. I don't feel like reading. I don't even feel like watching the television that is generally sounding off in the background just to give me some noise to zone out to. Even worse than all of that? I don't feel like cooking. I know, hard to believe right. I got by on cereal, fish sticks, and canned soup so many nights for dinner. However, the day job is turning back to the normal, manageable chaos. This abomination they have called winter is slowly turning to spring. The garden has been tilled, the flip flops have been worn, daylight savings time has changed things up, and the chaos of life has started to right itself.
One of my personal, and professional, goals this year was to blog more consistently. Not just here (as I started this particular blog this year) but on my other blog as well (The Fizzy Pop Collection). I wanted to take more time to share my thoughts and ideas. Give others a forum to share their thoughts and ideas. Somehow it all boils down to thoughts and ideas. Though, in my opinion, thoughts and ideas are an amazing jumping off point for so many amazing things to start happening. I've not been near as consistent as I had planned to be this year with the blogging. Changes in chaos patterns are sometimes unavoidable. But I haven't given up. I won't give up. I'll keep climbing back to the keyboard with each fall from the screen. It may not be the consistency I thought it would be but I refuse to let it be a failure. Slacker, yes. Failure, no.
I need a format to share ideas and thoughts with others. I need a format for my thoughts and ideas to matter and for you to be able to share yours. Your thoughts, ideas, feelings, feed back. Whatever it is that you need to share. I'm going to keep showing up. In my job, in my business, in my life, and here. You know, I started this blog thinking I was going to talk about life and chaos but that's not what it's about at all really. It's about showing up. It's not about trying. Trying only requires a part way effort. It's not about excuses, though I can have tons of those at a moments notice. It's not even about life. It's about showing up. It doesn't matter how tired, worn out, sick, disengaged, etc you are or feel you are. It doesn't matter how disconnected you feel or even believe yourself to be from everything around you. Life isn't about trying. Life is about showing up. Right where you are, how you are, in your moment. Clean or dirty, whole or broken, confident or fearful. All you have to do is show up and the rest will fall into place. Life is chaos and chaos is life. Life is about the big moments as well as the small moments. But trying doesn't allow you to experience the important moments. Showing up does. Even when you don't recognize those moments for what they are you showed up and when the time is right you will get it.
I've tried...and failed to follow my plan and meet my goal. But I showed up. And I will keep showing up. Will you?
